Hello people! Enrique here once again, this time discussing the most painful subject of breakups, particularly how to initiate it.
The famous Mr. Neil Sedaka sure knew what he was talking, er singing, about when he wrote the song ‘Breakin’ Up Is Hard to Do’. The only thing that’s perhaps more challenging that that is to break up with a woman in the most gentlemanly way. Well, it’s easier to attract women with indicators of attraction – signs that she likes you.
It’s like slaughtering an animal with the intention of making it as painless and as dignified for the animal as possible. It does not even matter what caused the breakup or whether or not you girlfriend deserves to be dumped. A man dumping a girl is an entire world of challenges and yet, sometimes, it just has to be done.
It’s like slaughtering an animal with the intention of making it as painless and as dignified for the animal as possible. It does not even matter what caused the breakup or whether or not your girlfriend deserves to be dumped. A man dumping a girl is an entire world of challenges and yet, sometimes, it just has to be done.
I know… because I recently broke up with SELENA.
But first off, I applaud you for being nice and gentlemanly enough to actually recognize the need to be gentle and decent about it. It’s a clear manifestation of the fact that you know how important it is not to break a woman’s ego even when what you’re about to do inevitably ends up breaking her heart.
How to break up with her the right way… from my own experience (sorry Selena)
1. Make sure you’ve exhausted all means to salvage your relationship. You don’t just wake up with a decision to dump your girlfriend. And your girlfriend does not deserve to wake up with a surprising breakup when everything seemed just fine the day before.
2. Don’t do it via phone or text, email or IM. There is only one way to do it: man up and talk to her personally. No exceptions!
3. Don’t send her the wrong message by being extremely sweet and romantic. It would be a double whammy if she expects you to sweep her off her feet and then drop the breakup bombshell when she’s all googly eyed and in love. Set the proper tone.
4. Keep it private. You don’t need an audience for these kinds of events, so keep it between you two. No, you don’t need your best friend, nor does she need her best friend, and you certainly don’t need a roomful of strangers to watch it happen.
5. Be honest without being rude. This all depends on your choice of words. Being a gentleman is not about owning up all the blame just to spare her from all the ego-bruising facts of what went wrong according to you. Choose your words wisely, don’t be accusing, and more importantly, DO NOT BE RUDE!
6. Do not get in a fight. If she’s the drama queen type, chances are she’s going to throw one right then and there. She might call you names, be hysterical, may even slap you or something like that. She might break down (or break stuff down). Let her emotions flow but keep her from hurting you, herself, and the stuff around you.
7. Make sure that you don’t send her mixed signals. Sometimes, your choice of words might get too sugarcoated that she totally misinterprets your intention. She might think that you’re breaking up with her temporarily, or that you’re doing it conditionally. Make sure that she understands you fully; an unintentional false hope would make the burden more unbearable.
8. Don’t leave until she does. Keep your entire schedule open for that breakup day. That way, you don’t rush into finishing the whole thing. Walking out on her (literally) after dumping her is adding insult to injury. The most gentlemanly thing to do is seeing her off and making sure she’s safely on her way home (or wherever her happy place is).
9. Lastly, don’t talk about it until she does. Don’t divulge details though, even when asked. A simple confirmation is good enough. Don’t post it up on Facebook either. Let her be the first to talk about it. Don’t even think about badmouthing her to your friends post breakup!
10. Honor the three-month-rule. Just. Because.
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