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Posts from: August 2013

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I’m A Single Dad, And I Love It!

I recently bumped into an ex-colleague of mine who recently got divorced. I can tell that he’s itching to get back into the dating scene, however he’s really hesitant– probably because of the fear that goes with another person entering your life again. It’s not that easy. But! Enrique is always here to help 😉

Single dads are almost always overshadowed by single moms. Everything is almost always about single moms. How single moms should handle disciplining the kids, budgeting tips for single moms, dating tips for single moms – everything is about single moms.

This time around, I’ll give the stage for the gentlemen out there. Dating for single dads is just as hard as it is for single moms. Predominantly, there’s the ‘baby factor’ and the ‘ex factor’ for both and most every other factor that gets in the way of dating for single parents stem from both.

So in favor and honor of all the strong, confident and selfless single dads out there who are looking to spice up their dating lives and get a second (or third or fourth or fifth) chance at love, here are some very helpful dating tips for single dads:

Always put your kid first.

Do I even have to say it? Do I even have to stress it? No. You can never put anyone before your own child – especially not a girlfriend. Your kid is your flesh and blood, and there is nothing that can change that. Your girlfriend can leave you and break up with you while your kid will always be your kid no matter how old they get. So when you put yourself out there in the dating scene – especially for the first time – you should set your mind to this.

Famil1 Before this image crosses into your brain, make sure that you are ready and you’re not rushing into things.

 

Do not introduce every woman you meet to your kid/s.

Likewise, do not bring a woman into your home to meet your kid unless you’re 200% ready to commit into the relationship. You would be setting a bad example and sending the wrong message to your kids if they witness you jumping from one woman to another. Also, she might consider this as you rushing. You do not want this. If you want to know what she wants from you – a dating guide from SIBG.com may help. It would never be good either to have them watch your every breakup. That will make them lose respect towards you and may even scar their own relationships in the future.

Do not keep your kid a secret.

I know for a fact that kids can be a huge turn off for some women and it can hurt your chances with some. But starting on the wrong foot by keeping your kid a secret will make things worse in the long run. She is going to hate you the moment she finds out simply because you’ve broken her trust even before you earned it. Always be honest about having a kid. Trust me – your girlfriend/date will appreciate you for it, and your kid will love you even more for it.

Always look decent.

Just because you’re single does not mean you should dress younger than your teenage son; but just because you’re a dad does not mean you should look older than your own dad either. Getting a woman to like you quickly starts with you  taking care of yourself and looking good in the process. Dress well, dress decently, and dress attractively. Always look your best on a date and impress your lady like a good bachelor would.

Behave well.

You cannot just go on a one-night-stand spree after another, or be a complete player. Be the kind of man you’d want your daughter to date someday, and the man that your son would want to become in the future. You may be single but you’re a dad so always put that in mind. :)

WISE WORDS FROM ENRIQUE.

Posted on 15th August 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post
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My Mistakes

Hey guys!  Enrique Quintero here hoping you can learn from my mistakes, many of which can be blamed on ‘failure to communicate’.  I am a man, after all, and we are known for frustrating our women by communicating with grunts and monosyllables – much like prehistoric cavemen did.

One of the most common problems girls have about men is their inability to open up. You may know the best tips on meeting and seducing women, but, tell you what, that is not enough. While we can go on and on yapping about what we want and what we don’t want, and how we feel in a relationship, most men just curl up like a threatened little red centipede.

It can get frustrating. If you think ‘Okay’ as an answer to an emotional question is fine, you’re dead wrong. If you think your one-word answers make our lives better and ‘easier’, sweetheart NO, IT DOES NOT.  And if you think avoiding the question and the ‘talk’ solves anything, a kid half your age or even younger knows that it never does.

Reader John Davies asked me “Enrique, why does my girl have so many questions?  Sometimes it feels like I am under investigation!”

John, you should be jumping up and down with joy.  Her many probing questions can only mean she is genuinely interested in you.  I’d do more than tolerate her if I were you – I would make it a point to communicate better.

It can never be emphasized enough that good communication is the secret to lasting relationships.  When a woman can’t get a decent answer from you, she gets frustrated and she’ll tell you about it, because women are much more open! Although, they talk excessively at times, you can’t really blame them if all you do is grunt or shake your head and they can elicit better responses from your pet hedgehog.  And when women get really frustrated they nag, which causes you to get angry, and eventually lead to a fight that no one really wants.

So when your girl wants you to open up, TALK!  Not sure how to? I can understand that.  Often the less you say the less chances there are to make mistakes – except when your silence is what’s ticking her off in the first place.  Here are some thoughts to help you convince yourself to be more open:

  • Talk is good – it is when a woman falls silent that is worrisome.  Most men balk at the mere mention of ‘The Talk’; This is the reason why they either come up with lame excuses to avoid it or just be present physically and be as evasive as possible. Guys, the one thing that you should understand is that talking is healthy in a relationship. Good communication is key to a healthy relationship. When you don’t come in as defensive or confrontational when she brings up the talk, she’ll be calm and nag much less.
  • Honesty may be the best policy, but better practice it with caution. There is a difference between blunt honesty and the tactful kind. The former makes it sound rude, critical, and offensive and can therefore start a fight. Such bluntness can make you sound bitter, especially if you’re financially challenged. The latter, on the other hand, is all about finding a better, more suitable, and least offensive manner in which to say things. Remember, it’s not only about what you’re saying but how you say it. And, girls being girls, be extra conscious of a woman’s heart – a.k.a. her sensitive heart.
  • To keep things getting out of hand, talk regularly about anything of interest to you and your partner. Never miss an opportunity to talk with her. After work, in the morning, on the phone, before you go to sleep – make it habit to talk and communicate as often as possible. You may be lucky and get hints of a small problem or irritant so you can do something about it early on.  DO not wait until things are out of hand and everything is erratic before you start talking. Always be honest and talk regularly. If you have not been doing this yet, practice it now for it’s never too late.

Good, regular and open communication is a key ingredient in the recipe of a successful relationship. Practice it early on to keep problems at bay.

I hope this helps you.  Take the time to visit the other articles on my blog.  If you have any questions you may email me at enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com or call me at 347 622 8310.

Posted on 5th August 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post