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Posts from: June 2013

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Jumping Into Bed With Someone You Do Business With! :)

Guys, this is Enrique Quintero telling you that mixing business with pleasure is one of the toughest balancing acts you can ever get into – unless providing pleasure is your business.  It can still work, however, if you know just what to do; and that’s the subject of this blog!

Sometimes, the attraction is just way too strong that even professional and business bonds cannot get in the way of a good romance. We all know how attractive independent women are. But because pleasure and business are hardly ever on the same side, how do you maintain your professionalism when you are so attracted to someone in it?

Whether you are a real estate agent, a real estate client, a doctor, a contractor, or whatever your line of work may be, should you find yourself attracted to a business partner, a client or any business acquaintance in general, there are rules to follow to make sure that pleasure does not get in the way of business.

What You Should And Should Not Do:

  • Maintain a general air of professionalism at work. You cannot go lovey-dovey in the office and especially not when in front of other business colleagues.  Otherwise even if you manage to remain impartial your colleagues will never believe that your professional decisions are not adversely influenced by your relationship. Reader Dave Johnson once asked me:  “Enrique, what do you think is the most serious professional consequence of dating someone at work?” Well, Dave, speaking from experience (yes, I was once romantically involved with someone at work) I would say it is losing the confidence of your colleagues. Once that romantic link gets out, people will start second-guessing whether your decisions are colored by the relationship.  This may not be so bad when business is booming, but anything negative is often blamed on romantic relationships between colleagues.
  • Do not compliment her about how she looks or how she smells when inside business premises or when in a business meeting.  Heck, even if you guys are having sandwich alone, if the agenda is to talk about a business proposal, there is no way you are telling her how shapely her legs look in her trousers. Just. Don’t. Read this SonicSeduction.net guide on how to ask a girl out if you are not sure how to ask a business partner out to a date.
  • Be very discreet when you have to go out on dates. Go somewhere far from your office or business locations. It will greatly help you both maintain that mental distance between pleasure and your work.
  • Do not use a business advantage to make romantic advances. So she’s trying to get a contract with you and you’re thinking about using that to get a date with her. Honestly, that’s only slightly better than sexual harassment!   And should you still decide to leverage your position to get a date, don’t come crying over being ‘used’ afterwards; you’ve been warned!
  • Use your personal contacts for personal purposes and keep your business contacts for business purposes. That translates to ‘do not call her in the office if you want to take her to dinner tomorrow night’. Call her on her phone preferably outside working hours.
  • Resist that urge to make hidden, nasty remarks at the office; that’s almost as bad as airing dirty laundry in public.  Sure it gets tempting to exchange naughty innuendos with each other at work, but nothing can be more unprofessional.  Learn to control yourselves set clear boundaries between workplace and romance.
  • You need to be a different person at work and outside of it. While it may seem difficult, just remember how you cannot possibly be as sweet to office colleagues as you are to your own family. Each one of us already play different roles in life (son/daughter, sibling, colleague, subordinate, supervisor, etc.) so it should not be so hard to separate your professional life with your romantic relationships.
  • Don’t (as in NEVER) kiss and tell. Your newfound romance need not be the talk of the office.  So don’t go about bragging to friends how you ended up going home with your supplier or agent. Sure they can know – and they will, eventually. But it should not be the talk of the whole town.

Business and pleasure – yes, it can work. Believe it or not, it can. It takes hard work, sure, but it is possible. Just as long as you never forget that you are one part lover, one part professional/business owner. But if you are dating your boss, then that’s still another story.

Keep visiting this blog for more information on dating and relationships.  If you need more information I can be contacted by phone at 347 622 8310 or through email at enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com

Posted on 25th June 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post
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The Great Date Food War!

Yes guys, this is still Enrique Quintero reporting back for duty this time with a more light-hearted blog on the subject of dating.  This blog was prompted by an emailed question I received from Jim McDonald (JMcD@hotmail.com) who asked:  “Enrique, I want to take a girl out on a romantic date.  Which would you recommend it should be, a lunch date or a dinner date?”

Howdy Jim!  There are pros and cons to both lunch and dinner dates which you should consider before choosing which would be more appropriate.  Since the answer to your question would tend to be a bit long, I dedicated this blog post to discussing the advantages and disadvantages of each option.

Recently I have been dating again, and the girl that I am seeing has been asking me for lunch dates although I prefer dinners (for obvious reasons!).  What are the chances that a lunch date is going to lead to anything romantic? On the same note, how much more effective is a dinner date for your romantic advances?

Not a few men have had to ask themselves whether a lunch date is actually a good alternative to the usual dinner dates, or if it is just like wearing your wedding ring for a post-divorce date – it just kills every chance you have on the love department.

Can you possibly make a lunch date as romantic as a date for dinner? If you’re unsure how to get a woman to like you, a romantic date is high up the list. So choose very carefully.

Here is a list showing a comparison of the pros and cons of both lunch and dinner dates when it comes to romance:

Le Lunch Date…

One big disadvantage of a lunch date is you can’t be too intimate with each other.

Lunch dates are commonly deemed as casual and friendly things – you know, like what the girls of Sex and the City do every week – meet up for lunch to talk about their lives. The only thing romantic about their lunch dates with each other are the stories of their latest romantic pursuits. But is it always that way? Here are its pros and cons:

PROS

Lunch dates are a safer option. You can see your date’s face more clearly and you are safe from bogus women who want to mug you on your first date.

Lunch dates make for excellent take-off dates.  It is meant for that stage when you and your date are still feeling each other out and you are not yet sure how romantically inclined you are with her.

Lunch dates there allow you to explore your date’s potential without much pressure. The atmosphere is generally lighter and you’re not really obliged to linger because it’s freaking midday!

Lunch dates are perfect for quick dates.

Lunch dates are also almost always cheaper than dinner dates, so this may help if you are financially challenged.

CONS

Because they are usually quick, they make it impossible to get to know your dates better.

Lunch dates make women think there’s nothing more to the date and this may hamper your romantic intentions.

Lunch dates make it hard for potential intimacy. Seriously, who sits close to each other in the middle of a brightly lit bistro?

You can’t really get alcohol before 5pm can you?

Le Dinner Date

Dinner dates are romantic. Enough said.

The safest, most common and perhaps most overused type of date around, dinner dates always conjure up images of a dimly lit room, sweet violin music, and a fancy looking restaurant with extra rounds of drinks for you. But what are the cons to this time tested method? Let’s explore:

PROS

A dinner date is an upfront declaration of your intention for romance.

It is more intimate, considering more than half of the other people in the room are probably doing the same thing as you.

There’s alcohol at the bar – all night.

CONS

It is too tense and too intimate for a first date.

Dinner dates are usually more expensive than lunch dates.

The pressure to go romantic is too high – almost like a declaration of your intention to take the relationship further.

CONCLUSION

At the end of the day (no pun intended), I guess we can all just say the success of a date is more a matter of how than when or what time of day; the exception being that lunch is more appropriate for a first date.  You can even opt for a coffee date! Find out why coffee dates make great dates. If you play your cards well, then you might just be able to pull off the most romantic lunch date ever!

There Jim and all my other readers out there, I hope that helps.  I welcome comments to this blog and will even answer other dating and relationship questions which you can email to me at enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com or you can simply give me a call at 347 622 8310.

Posted on 21st June 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post
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I Used To Fake It…

You know why girls choose douche bags and players? Yes, exactly. They’re more confident! I’m really not that confident myself, which has pretty much made me a failure. Their sex appeal comes from that security they have in themselves; they channel their own self confidence to their dates and in turn, the girls feel just as confident with them.

This is where most nice guys fail. They fail to impress their dates the first time because they are too fidgety, they cannot look in her eyes, and they are almost always distracted. The first date blues always get them and their true personality – the nice, warm, loving, admirable traits – are overshadowed by their lack of self confidence. Instead they come out as not serious enough, boring, and maybe even rude at some point.

Confidence is the sexiest thing in anyone – men and women alike. Of course it takes a lot of brains, too, to recognize the difference between confident and cocky.

If you’re the type that runs out of things to say or gets the nerves when on a date or you just need the extra kick in the gut for your next date, here are some ways to fake your confidence:

Wear something nice but comfortable. When looking for clothes to wear on a date, always go for something that makes you feel handsome. Wearing something too fancy may not feel natural, further eroding your confidence.

Posture, posture!  Slouching makes your date feel unimportant. It makes her feel like you’re disinterested in talking with her, or you’re not taking her seriously. Sit up straight, cross your legs if you need to but keep a straight back. You’ll get used to it. If you need more help in correcting a slouch, read this Health Guidance article.

Hold your drink with one hand, preferably your left.  It keeps your hand busy, gives you something to ‘play with’ so you keep yourself from tapping on the table or clasping something very tightly, both of which are dead giveaways for nervousness.

Preparation is important.  Give yourself a mental pep talk before your date comes in. Everything you’re scared of is just in your brain. This date is not a matter of life or death and if this fails, then head on over to the next. Your date is probably as scared as you. And there’s nothing wrong with you. Tell yourself random stuff that will keep you happy and calm.

Come early. Being late will make you extra nervous, not to mention earn you a turnoff point, especially if you’re meeting the girl at your date location.  If you come early you will have time to relax and take in the atmosphere of the place before your date arrives.

A friend asked me once how important is it to show confidence during a date.  And my answer was that the two most important things to show on a date are your confidence and your sincerity (which allows your date to feel very important).  You need to at least have sense enough not to let your date notice your lack of confidence.

This is where ‘fake it until you make it’ applies quite well. After a few more dates with different women, and socializing with more people, you’ll likely be used to it and it will become a natural part of your personality. Bottom line is, attracting women is not hard if you follow this blueprint exactly as it is. And always remember to have fun!

If you need more help you can always call me at 347 622 8310 or email your questions to enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com

Posted on 6th June 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post