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Posts from: May 2013

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Online Dating Is Overrated, And Scammy!

I don’t like online dating, but . . .

Nowadays, there is no longer any need for men to go through the embarrassment and pain that comes with hanging out at bars and night clubs hoping to pick up women. If you hate buying expensive drinks for women, which does not actually guarantee anything, or if you hate dancing, then you will love what online seduction has to offer.

But the main reasons why I really don’t like online dating are because of the proliferation of scams and my being uncomfortable with anything other than a face to face meeting.  Technology cannot give you the ‘feel’ that an initial face-to-face date will.

Of course there are other ways to meet women, like having a hobby but if we are unsuccessful using face-to-face interactions or if we don’t have time for probing personal dates, then perhaps we can (reluctantly) consider turning to dating websites.  Online dating websites provide easy, fast and effective ways for you to get dates with gorgeous women without even having to leave the comforts of your own home. What man would not be interested in fast and easy results?

One thing you may have to learn is how to communicate with women through instant messages and emails. Once you learn, however, you can use technology to effortlessly communicate and build rapport with women who interest you. Here are several tips which can help you succeed with women through the World Wide Web:

  1. Be Patient.  Nothing will make you look more creepy and more needy than flooding the woman that you are interested in with a stream of messages before she even gets the chance to reply to you. So, try to be patient and don’t freak out if she fails to reply sometimes, either.
  2. Check Your Spelling.  Online dating is one of the very few cases where you actually have to pay attention to the way that you type things online. Although it isn’t a necessity, you will score brownie points if you communicate with women with flawless punctuation, spelling and grammar online at all times.
  3. Think Things Through.  Before you send anything to a woman online, make sure you think things through first. Try to sound clever and witty, but not fresh. Also, if you think you are comfortable enough with each other, tease her every now and then.  If the woman you are hitting on is extremely hot, then you should consider the fact that other men are busting their balls trying to get her attention too. If you’d like to give yourself an edge, and I am sure you do, here is a blog that is recommended highly by many. By showing her that you are a fun guy, she will be more inclined to reply to your messages faster.
  4. Keep Things Short.  Face it: women won’t spend more than 10 minutes reading a message online nor will she wait for you if it takes you that long to reply to her instant message, either. So, keep things short. Online dating is meant to be fun, so use as few words and sentences as possible to keep her interested.
  5. Focus on her.  In general, people love talking about themselves, especially women. So, ask as many questions as possible and keep the focus on her. Contrary to popular belief, there is no need to try and impress a woman on the Internet. Just get to know her better by asking different questions about her interests and you can win her over in no time.
  6. Proceed with caution.  Be careful of the legal implications of whatever you wish to post – never post inappropriate messages and images.  Be wary of scams and do not readily give out personal details before checking out the website and its reputation.  Be aware that, just as you have the contact details of hundreds of women, the one you are interested in also has your image and details along with that of hundreds of other men to choose from; there is no guarantee that you will even be noticed.

Online dating indeed has become very popular these days, especially with the advent of smartphones which allows seamless connection through the internet. If there’s any advantage in online dating, I think it’s the fact that you can be yourself anonymously – at least until you are comfortable enough for an eventual meet-up. You also get an initial chemistry test without having to spend time together.

To add more icing to the cake, I have friend who has actually found true love through online dating. Sounds sweet? Tell me.

For more wise words from Enrique, keep visiting this blog, call me at at 347 622 8310.  I also answer questions sent to enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com

Posted on 22nd May 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post
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Pop Quiz: Would You Date a Friend’s Ex? Can You Date a Friend’s Ex?

Hello people.  I am Enrique Quintero and I say there is nothing harder on the emotion than having to choose between a good friend and the one you love.  But what if it can’t be helped?

“Mates before dates” can be as simple as going for boys’ night out over a dinner date with your girl. But, it becomes a very complicated, very messy situation when it comes to whether or not it is okay to date your friend’s ex.

Last week I blogged about hobbies that would let you meet women. But what if, no matter what you do, you find your friend’s ex really attractive?

Really, what does the bro code say about going out with your buddy’s former fling? When is it okay to date a friend’s ex? Or is it ever okay?

The Big Issue

The biggest issue that comes with dating someone your close friend has dated is the question of loyalty. You cannot stop your mate from suspecting that you have been eyeing his girl even while they were still together. And you can’t really blame him if he wonders if you actually made advances to her behind his back. After all, he will never know.

And this is a fact for both male and female relationships.  We may argue, ‘no one owns anybody and we are free to date and love whoever we damn well please’. But then again, would you seriously say that to someone you call ‘brother from another mother’ in the face?

If you decide to go for it, you might find these rules handy.

The Factors to Consider

If you are thinking about pursuing a girl who’s dated your friend, there might be questions you need to ask yourself and factors you have to consider before making a move.

  1. Time : Time here refers to both how long your friend and his ex were together, and how long ago it was since they’ve broken up. If it was a long, serious relationship – say, something that started since they were in High School, I don’t think that’s something you want to get involved in. But then again, if they have broken up two years ago, then it may be okay.

2. Intention:  Why do you want to pursue the girl? Why would the girl want to date you? Are you looking at scoring off in an unspoken competition with your friend? Is she using you as a rebound, and the perfect accessory to have her revenge on your friend?  You are in for bad times unless it is true love that drives you.

3. Their current situation: Bad breakups take a really long time to get over from. If it wasn’t a mutual situation, and your friend was dumped, think again about taking his ex out. He will either

a) think you’re the cause of the breakup and you are a traitor or

b) she was using him the whole time to get you. Boys can be overly dramatic too you know. And besides, you really wouldn’t want to be the poor rebound guy.

But if they both have fully moved on from each other, and they can actually be civil, then maybe you can get your hopes up a teeny bit.

4. Timing:  In any situation, timing is everything: when to pursue the girl, when to tell your friend, when to take her to your common social circle – the slightest mistimed move could jeopardize both your friendship with your buddy and your blooming relationship with the lady in question.

The Bottom Line

The most important question, perhaps, that you should ask when thinking about pursuing a buddy’s former romance is this: will it be worth all the trouble and the risk of losing a friend?  Unless you want to be the douche bag and the jerk in your social circle, better ask that question before dialing her number.

Read this Seduction FAQ blog post now if you think you’re better off attracting other women.

So you might ask: what’s my take on this? If I were faced with such a situation, I would stay away from it UNLESS I really really, really think I want a serious relationship with her.

Just my two cents.

I’d love to hear what you think about this blog article.  You can post your comments directly on this blog or send them to enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com You can also reach me at phone number 347 622 8310.

Posted on 14th May 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post
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Enrique’s Picks: Hobbies That Will Let You Meet Women

Holler, buddies! I’ve previously blogged about ating independent women. The question now is where to find them.

Guys, I have news for you: bars aren’t the only places to meet great women! Girls have found some new places to frequent and you might be the last person to know.

Sticking with the usual bars and clubs will leave you with the exact same type of women. You may be missing on the chance to find someone better; one who does not happen to like neon lights and overflowing margaritas.

Oh, and guys, did I happen to tell you that men with unusual (no, not creepy) interests or those who are into improving themselves constantly are sexy? Yes, they are very attractive. At least, that’s what my female friends tell me. And what’s even more attractive is if that man happens to like the same things women are into.

While it is wise to learn the right Pickup techniques, it is equally wise to pick them up from the right places, lest you end up wasting your time with the wrong women.

So here’s a list of interesting hobbies that you can try spending some time on for a chance to meet girls (without looking like a neurotic drunk guy at the end of the night):

Join Cooking Classes:  With Gordon Ramsay’s rise to TV stardom, and all the other cooking shows and contests, the desire to learn how to cook better also rose to a record high. Okay, I don’t have a record but a lot of women have gotten the desire to learn to cook like a pro from watching DC Cupcakes and Masterchef; and thus the rise in enrollees in your local cooking school. This is one place where you’d be literally surrounded by women. And to be among the few home cooking men to join the culinary class, is sure to get you special treatment. (Oh, yes, a man who is good with cooking is sexy!)

Run for Love?  Yes, running has become the ‘in’ fitness thing of today. I don’t know what started the trend but more people are into running. And you know what that means: girls are into it too! It’s cheap, it’s fresh, and hey it’s healthy for you! You don’t even have to be a member of some group! Just make sure you stock up on some heavy duty deo and run early – that’s when all other runners come out.

Volunteer for Charity Work:  Girls can hardly resist kind-hearted men. Sparing a few hours of your time doing charity work to help with problem children, special children, soup kitchens, animal shelters, or whatever strikes your fancy, will allow you to meet equally kind-hearted ladies.’

Join A Poetry Club:  There’s almost always one artist café in every place. If you’re into Shakespeare and a fan of the written art, you’re likely to meet girls with the same interest in these places. Watch out for and join open mic and poetry reading nights. You’ll get both your literary fix and be surrounded by sexy, smart women. Oh and the coffee and the cookies are free!

Take Up Yoga:  Not so much for the yoga pants but I’m sure you’ll get your fix of that too, but joining a yoga class is (1) NOT GAY LIKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS SAY, (2) very healthy for your mind, soul and body, and (3) blessed with an abundance of girls. And the post-yoga aura is always warm and fresh so that no girl is ever grumpy after a yoga class. And guess what, yoga is actually good for the heart (literally and figuratively!).

It is such a bonus to find a hobby that you would like, that the presence of girls is just an added inspiration. Look for something you’ve been really dying to learn and start from there. Good luck!

Please tell us what you think of this article and of my blog in general.  I will even answer questions by phone (3476228310) or email (enrique@enriquequinterodesign.com). Thanks for the visit!

Posted on 10th May 2013 in Enrique's Dating Advice  •  Comments are off for this post